The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, September 18, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

NAACP and Ku Klux Klan join forces in Washington

Black civil rights organization and Southern terrorists join to stop blacks from owning firearms.

The old maxim that “politics makes strange bedfellows” does not begin to describe the new alliance between the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and the Ku Klux Klan. According to NAACP President Kweisi Mfume, the nearly century-old civil rights organization has come to see the value of the Klan perspective on African-Americans.

The NAACP is suing the firearms industry for their “poor distribution practices” which “allow African-Americans to purchase firearms” and then kill other African-Americans. “It hurts us to admit this,” said President Mfume, “but for the past thirty years firearms homicides by African-Americans has been the leading cause of death among young African-American males. We’ve come to realize that African-Americans cannot handle the responsibility of owning firearms.” According to the NAACP lawsuit, firearms distributors should have known that African-Americans cannot be trusted with firearms, and should have refused to sell. The lawsuit does not seek any monetary damages, according to President Mfume. “It seeks only to force the firearms industry to stop selling firearms to African-Americans.”

The Ku Klux Klan has submitted an “amicus curiæ”, or “friend of the court” brief in support of the NAACP’s position. “It shouldn’t come as a surprise,” said a Klan spokesperson. “We’ve said all along that blacks cannot handle civil rights. We have nothing against the negro, as long as he knows his place. We’re glad the NAACP finally came around to acknowledging that.” According to their spokesperson, the Ku Klux Klan fully supports the NAACP’s lawsuit.

The Walkerville Weekly Reader attempted to contact Congress on Racial Equality president Roy Innes for comment, but his response was unprintable in a family newspaper.

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