The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, August 31, 2015
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • New York Times claims even moderate Democrats socialist

    According to accusations by the New York Times, Democrats have moved so far to the left that even moderate Democrats are socialists today.

    Wordless National Recovery eagle

    Candidate Clinton suggests new logo for the Democratic Party.

    Bernie Sanders, a self-described socialist and member of the Socialist Party of America before deciding to run for office, and a leading figure in the Liberty Union Party, which endorses candidates from the SPA’s successor, the Socialist Party USA, is in the moderate wing of the Democratic Party, according to the New York Times editorial board.

    “The Democratic Party,” wrote the Times, “consists of socialists, such as Bernie Sanders, in the middle, internationalists, such as Barack Obama, towards the American center, and nationalists, such as presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, in its far left wing.”

    The comment came in response to disruptions at Bernie Sanders’s campaign stops by Black Lives Matter activists, and the response by Sanders and his supporters. “The responses to the disruptions at Bernie Sanders’ events,” wrote the Times, “raise issues about the relationship between moderate whites and black activists.”

    The Times wrote that, “in the Democratic Party’s left wing, you have international socialists such as President Barack Obama, who feel that national boundaries are less important than lifting up other countries.” For an example, the Times gave President Obama’s signature second-term accomplishment, helping Iran acquire explosive new technologies and extend their influence among religious organizations named after ancient Egyptian deities.

    In the Democratic Party’s far left wing, said the Times, “you have national socialists, such as former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who works with corporations to regulate the domestic economy and ensure that the laws treat corporations fairly while successfully funding further campaigns.”

  • Hillary Clinton vows to lift blacks out of the ghetto

    Hillary Clinton voiced support for improving the black race by creating a government panel to decide who is fit and unfit to have children. Praises Planned Parenthood for aborting unfit blacks.

    The Birth Control Review, No. 12, December, 1919

    Eugenics, the next step. “The unfit reproduce themselves with an appalling rapidity.”

    “I admire Margaret Sanger enormously,” Secretary Clinton said of the Planned Parenthood founder and leading light of the eugenics movement in America. “Her courage, her tenacity, her vision… And when I think about what she did all those years ago in Brooklyn, taking on archetypes, taking on attitudes and accusations flowing from all directions, I am really in awe of her.”

    Stumbling recently in her efforts to draw support from the black coalition that supported President Obama, Clinton has outlined a radical progressive policy to lift the black race out of poverty, disease, and its “other special afflictions.”

  • Glaciers retreat from Middle East

    As glaciers flee the desert, they leave once-frozen ancient barbarians behind.

    Scooby Doo Frozen Fright

    ISIS barbarian awaits glacial retreat. (Artist’s conception)

    As if the Middle East didn’t already have enough weather problems, a Walden University scientist says that their long-admired glaciation is retreating northward.

    “Glaciers have completely retreated from the Tigris River valley,” said Professor Barbara Boopstein, “and the Saharan ice field will soon be renamed the Saharan Desert.”

    Former Maryland governor and Democratic candidate for president Martin O’Malley agreed.

    “I’m going to miss skiing in the Syrian Alps the most,” he said.