The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, April 20, 2015
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • Reader Exposé: Mismediation of Deaf Culture and the tyranny of audism

    Sign language interpreters are always pulled from the ranks of the hearing, and can have no understanding of how to communicate the thoughts and feelings of the deaf.

    The deaf are more oppressed today than ever. They are oppressed by a hearing majority that stands between them and every major speaking event, that purports to mediate for them at every literary or poetry engagement, at every civic function.

  • Catholic Church restores Ptolemaic theology

    Pope rescinds Galileo apology: “Mankind is the center of the universe, after all.”

    Saint Dominic presiding over auto-da-fe

    Early church investigates deniers.

    Moving formally to recognize the man-made catastrophic global warming model, Pope Francis today renounced Pope John Paul II’s earlier forgiveness of Galileo Galilei in 1992. The Italian skeptic, a 16th century proponent of denialist claims that mankind is not the center of the universe, also claimed that the sun, rather than being a mere ball of light in the heavens, played a major role in human affairs.

    Pope Francis’s actions return Catholic theology to the dominant scientific consensus in favor of the Ptolemaic humanocentric model of the universe.

    For decades, this model has shown catastrophic and deadly changes lie mere years ahead of us. Those who would deny this model seek to doom mankind to a thousand years of hell on earth.

    Pope Francis said that John Paul erred because he did not recognize the the primacy of the Bible over scientific affairs.

  • Popular Christmas song perpetuates rape culture

    Global warming experts and feminists warn of rape epidemic with onset of winter weather, holiday music, but mostly holiday music.

    With the holiday season winding down and winter winding up in many northern states, American feminists are raising alarms about an upcoming epidemic of weather-rape.

    Climate change experts have been warning for years that global warming will lead to an increase in rape rates, but the mechanism for the increase has been poorly understood. Feminists believe they have found the link in popular culture, particularly the pop standard Baby, it’s cold outside.

    According to feminists, the Frank Loesser-penned hit is a “date rape carol” or “date rape anthem”. Professor Barbara Boopstein of Walden College explained that