The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, April 24, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • Journalists accuse blacks of “rape culture”

    Following an interview with prominent black author Ta-Nehisi Coates where he says that he avoids being alone with other women, mostly-white liberals accuse him of misogyny and perpetuating black rape culture.

    Mike and Karen Pence at Armed Services Ball

    Black journalist Ta-Nehisi Coates drags white woman to happy hour; she reaches for help from bystanders.

    Following the revelation that American journalist and writer Ta-Nehisi Coates won’t drink or frequent happy hours alone with women other than his wife, numerous female journalists and Twitterers took to explaining how this perpetuates black rape culture.

    “I have to hand it to blacks,” wrote Jessica Valenti at The Guardian. “It’s 2017, and somehow they have Americans debating whether it’s appropriate for blacks to attend happy hours alone with white women.”

    While blacks swoon over Coates’s supposed old-school propriety, the rest of us white women were simply reminded that you don’t need to brag about “fisting women like a civil rights sign” to be a rapist.

    Valenti compared this to black Muslims, such as Keith Ellison, who might conceivable “refuse to drink one-on-one with women without stoning them to death, and use their religion to justify it.”

    While we were all fighting about Coates’s dinner plans, though, Blacks were hard at work attacking women.

    Valenti complained that the controversy over Coates’s “old-school sexism” was detracting from the greater discussion of black-on-white rape.

    “Coates is a rapist,” concluded Valenti. “We know it because he’s black. Let’s not let one man’s sexism distract us from his whole race’s rape culture.”

  • California bans multiple pregnancies

    Democrats pass bills requiring 30-day waiting period for abortions and a license to walk in public while pregnant.

    Marching for uterus control

    Women march in San Diego Saturday demanding that California pass “gun control” for uteruses.

    In response to intense lobbying by feminists, California has passed new laws that use California’s gun control as a model for women’s reproductive rights.

    The laws follow protests by women marching in favor of uterus control, such as Blanche Ivory in San Diego. “I wish my uterus shot bullets,” Ivory’s hand-made sign read, “so that the government would treat it like a firearm.”

    The new laws require a 30-day waiting period for abortions, a license to walk in public while pregnant, and a ban on bearing more than one child per pregnancy.

    Governor Jerry Brown noted, while signing the bill, that while the bill does allow women to walk in public while pregnant if they have a license, “only Hollywood movie stars and the occasional heavy Democratic donor will be able to acquire the license.”

  • Clinton accuses Russia of infiltrating United States government

    Worried about falling poll numbers in working-class states, Clinton campaign identifies, addresses, a key concern of middle-class: the Soviet threat to the United States electoral process.

    John Birch Society logo

    Hillary Clinton campaign tests new advertising designed to appeal to middle-class concerns.

    In a 13the-hour appeal for heartland votes, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is crafting her message to appeal to key Midwest constituencies identified by the Democratic Party’s cutting-edge outreach program.

    Democratic Party leadership, including Mrs. Clinton, gushed that they were “well aware of the very important concerns that middle America has.”

    In a speech to one important Democratic-leaning organization, Mrs. Clinton said that

    I grew up in middle America. I know how important the Soviet threat is to middle America today. The Soviet Union has infiltrated the highest levels of government. I have seen electronic communications that prove their collusion with important media figures and their insidious control over our very electoral process.

    The organization, a tight-knit and patriotic group concerned with foreign influence on the United States political process, welcomed Hillary Clinton and applauded her efforts to fight the Soviet Union.