The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, January 16, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • Clinton accuses Russia of infiltrating United States government

    Worried about falling poll numbers in working-class states, Clinton campaign identifies, addresses, a key concern of middle-class: the Soviet threat to the United States electoral process.

    John Birch Society logo

    Hillary Clinton campaign tests new advertising designed to appeal to middle-class concerns.

    In a 13the-hour appeal for heartland votes, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is crafting her message to appeal to key Midwest constituencies identified by the Democratic Party’s cutting-edge outreach program.

    Democratic Party leadership, including Mrs. Clinton, gushed that they were “well aware of the very important concerns that middle America has.”

    In a speech to one important Democratic-leaning organization, Mrs. Clinton said that

    I grew up in middle America. I know how important the Soviet threat is to middle America today. The Soviet Union has infiltrated the highest levels of government. I have seen electronic communications that prove their collusion with important media figures and their insidious control over our very electoral process.

    The organization, a tight-knit and patriotic group concerned with foreign influence on the United States political process, welcomed Hillary Clinton and applauded her efforts to fight the Soviet Union.

    Clinton excoriated Republicans for their “intransigence” in not fixing important security holes in the way the United States holds elections.

    “It is imperative that we verify that people who come to the polling booth are in fact eligible to vote,” said Clinton. “Yet Republicans, who benefit from the lack of basic security procedures used by every other advanced Western democracy, block this simple and effective measure to reduce vote fraud.”

    Clinton also chastised Republicans for extending the voting period “in state after state. In some states, the voting period is over a month long. Longer voting periods make it very easy for criminal elements to conspire to change the results of close elections. Instead of having to keep polling places secure for one day, communities must keep a twenty-four hour watch for days or weeks. Add to this the Republican drive to increase absentee voting, and it’s almost as if Republicans designed our voting system to facilitate fraud.”

  • Watching Trump ‘end run’ YouTube videos dangerous, says press

    Public should be wary of watching President-elect Donald Trump’s YouTube videos without proper media analysis, says Chris Cuomo, CNN.

    Donald Trump lied

    In a stunning attack on President-elect Donald Trump’s controversial end-run around the American fourth estate, the press has announced that watching a Presidential speech on YouTube or on blogs could result in jail time for the illicit viewer.

    “Constitutionally,” said Chris Cuomo on CNN, “it is illegal for viewers to watch presidential speeches directly. It’s dangerous, and could result in jail time—or worse.”

    According to Cuomo, the media has expert health professionals on call to implement the appropriate legal and visual filters to ensure a safe viewing experience when watching politicians speak.

    “We are the only safe conduit between Trump and the People,” said NBC News correspondent Hallie Jackson. “He burns brightly and without repose. Do not, under any circumstances, watch President-elect Donald Trump directly.”

  • Democrats: black voters prefer totalitarian Presidents

    They voted for Donald Trump over Hillary for the same reason they name their children after royalty, say DNC staffers and reporters.

    Clintons at Trump wedding

    Democratic nominee and former Democratic President palling around with notorious racist and unknown immigrant.

    Supporters of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton charge that voters chose for Donald Trump because they are racist. Many of written, publicly and privately, that more minorities voted for Trump than they did for Mitt Romney in 2012 or John McCain in 2008 because “minority voters yearn for dictators.”

    “All you have to do is look at their names,” wrote Democratic National Committee finance chief of staff Scott Comer. “LaQueenia and LaKingia? They want someone who will rule over them.”

    A colleague agreed, replying, “Just kill me now.”

    Democratic National Committee communications director Luis Miranda agreed with Comer.

    “It isn’t just the blacks,” he wrote. “Hispanics are so commercialized nowadays, they’re just suckers for a powerful businessman. Hispanics are the most brand loyal consumers in the World: Known fact.”

    He added that hispanics are “unforgiving” to white women who sell foreign policy to the highest bidder. “It’s sexism,” he said. “Hispanics wouldn’t hold a man to such a high standard.”