The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, September 26, 2016
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • Democrats: Women faint, it’s what they do

    Press, Democrats, defend Hillary Clinton’s collapse, gaffes. “All women faint when they can’t stand the heat.”

    Hillary Clinton in snow

    Democratic candidate found wandering streets, babbling, in sweltering New York heat wave. “I’m telling you, it talked to me. It wished me a happy birthday!” (Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images)

    After Hillary Clinton appeared to collapse spasmodically in high-seventy-degree weather, the American press and other Democrats defended her by saying “all women faint when it gets hot.”

    “That’s what women do,” said Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon. “In more enlightened times, we had fainting couches for women, but the patriarchy has taken them away.”

    Where do you think the saying, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, came from? It means, women can’t stand the heat. Certainly not the seventy-odd degree temperatures in New York that day.

    Women from Africa and Texas were not consulted, according to our reporter, because they were all unconscious.

    According to Clinton campaign insiders, the candidate’s problem was exacerbated by her refusal to drink water and contaminate her precious bodily fluids.

    However, this campaign claim contradicts an earlier claim that Mrs. Clinton “drinks like a fish.”

    According to MSNBC host Stephanie Ruhle, Hillary faces a “double standard”: when she lies, it’s held against her, and when we find out that she lied, that also is held against her.

    Famous television scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson defended the Democrat’s gaffe, saying, “My sense is that we don’t think enough about how much we collectively, yet unwittingly, force politicians to lie to us.”

    Tyson added a defense of the candidate’s husband, saying that “it is worth thinking about how much women, collectively, yet unwittingly, force Bill Clinton to rape them.”

  • Hillary Clinton’s lost decade: 2012 concussion destroy’s candidate’s memory

    The Democratic candidate for president blamed a 2012 concussion for her inability to remember what is and is not classified information, and how classified information should be handled, despite a decade of training on congressional committees and at the State Department.

    President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton

    “Who is this man? Where am I? What is my name?”

    On Friday, the FBI released some notes from their interviews with Hillary Clinton. These notes may shed light on the surprising decision by the candidate to avoid press conferences since December 5, 2015.

    When the FBI asked the former Secretary of State why she allowed classified information on an insecure server, Mrs. Clinton argued that a 2012 concussion caused her to forget how to handle sensitive information.

    Mrs. Clinton said that she had lost all of her memory “from 2003 until… what year is this?”

    The concussion, she implied, erased not just her years as Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013, but also the years she served on the Senate Armed Services Committee from 2003 to 2009, which “routinely handles classified information”.

  • Trump targets mostly white audience

    Controversial presidential candidate speaks to MSNBC, Vox, and Democratic leadership.


    Democratic Party leadership and media prepare to meet Donald Trump on racial issues.

    Journalists and Democrats criticized Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump for appealing to a mostly white demographic in his controversial run for the White House. The Republican nominee continued a campaign lacking diversity Sunday when he spoke to a gathering of white political cronies in Washington, DC.

    According to sources within the beleaguered campaign, the meeting was heavily weighted toward white elites, from the extreme white Hispanic and moderate white co-founders of to the entire lineup of corporate news channel MSNBC. Also in attendance were white-wing leadership in the House and Senate, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer, and Dick Durbin.

    The latter two men are often called, by other whites in the Democratic Party, “minority whips”, which Black Lives Matter activists contend is a reminder of the slavery long supported by Democrats in the South.