The Walkerville Weekly Reader

In the end times, one newspaper dared to call God to task for His hypocrisy. That newspaper was not us, we swear it. Not the eternal flames!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, August 22, 2016
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

  • Trump targets mostly white audience

    Controversial presidential candidate speaks to MSNBC, Vox, and Democratic leadership.

    Whiteness

    Democratic Party leadership and media prepare to meet Donald Trump on racial issues.

    Journalists and Democrats criticized Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump for appealing to a mostly white demographic in his controversial run for the White House. The Republican nominee continued a campaign lacking diversity Sunday when he spoke to a gathering of white political cronies in Washington, DC.

    According to sources within the beleaguered campaign, the meeting was heavily weighted toward white elites, from the extreme white Hispanic and moderate white co-founders of Vox.com to the entire lineup of corporate news channel MSNBC. Also in attendance were white-wing leadership in the House and Senate, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer, and Dick Durbin.

    The latter two men are often called, by other whites in the Democratic Party, “minority whips”, which Black Lives Matter activists contend is a reminder of the slavery long supported by Democrats in the South.

    “Courting the party of slavery, whose leadership still, today, celebrates whipping minorities highlights Trump’s outspoken racism,” said Vox.com Black Affairs analyst Professor Eburnean Pallor III.

    MSNBC Social Justice correspondent Blanche Ivory accused the Republican nominee of working with the party of slavery’s presidential nominee, Hillary Clinton, and even inviting her to his daughter’s wedding.

    “But the greatest injustice,” said Ivory and Pallor, “is when the Republican met with two of the whitest news outlets in America.”

    “MSNBC,” said Professor Pallor.

    “Vox.com,” said Ms. Ivory.

    Both analysts agreed that Donald Trump’s meeting Sunday disqualifies him for the presidency.

    Television news ratings groups agreed that Trump showed poor judgement meeting with the white wing at MSNBC or Vox.com.

  • German chancellor dies in gun accident

    German men denied asylum in Britain and deported from France, often become victims of gun violence, BBC and Reuters report.

    Hitler as a baby

    Reuters released this photo of the German chancellor.

    The BBC today reported that Germany’s Chancellor died from a firearm accident in his home last night. According to the BBC, he had recently lost his bride of only two days to a poison commonly found in fruit stones.

    The poison also took the life of one of the couple’s beloved dogs, a German Shepherd named Blondi.

    The newlywed couple’s bodies were cremated in the garden behind the Chancellor’s office, where the Chancellor had spent the previous six years working for the greater good of Germany and the world.

    “The Chancellor, by all accounts,” said the BBC, “commanded the respect and love of the citizens of his country.”

    The Reuters news agency reported further that the man and other German emigres had been denied the right to migrate to Britain, and that British politicians were instrumental in forcing peaceful German migrants to leave France, Holland, and other countries throughout Europe and the world.

  • Democrats introduce mens rea reform

    Congressional Democrats move to extend FBI Director Comey’s Clinton mens rea standard to all Americans.

    Hillary Clinton at press conference

    “I didn’t need a new wardrobe after all?”

    Two weeks after FBI Director James Comey announced that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton should not be prosecuted because she lacked the mental capacity to form intent, Democratic lawmakers have introduced important mens rea reform. Democrats say that their reforms will extend the protections Clinton received to the everyday American.

    Republican reformers, who have been trying to introduce mens rea reform into the law for years were surprised Wednesday when Democratic lawmakers introduced a more sweeping version of reform than they ever dared try.