The Walkerville Weekly Reader

Breaking News: News as it happens. Almost like CNN. With less bias and more facts. Promise!

Walkerville, VA
Monday, November 13, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Some things you can spin. For the rest, there’s MediaCard

The Walkerville Weekly Reader has been brought to you by MediaCard: you can always lie and cheat and steal when no one’s looking. When they are looking, there’s MediaCard.

MediaCard Harry Reid
  • A month’s worth of birth control pills: $9.00 at Target
  • One hundred condoms: $19.95 on Amazon
  • Taxi ride to a Planned Parenthood clinic: $11.75
  • Diverting the media from your failed policies: priceless.

The best way to draw attention from a failed presidency is by distracting the media with sex. So don’t worry about your $5.00 gas, no Democratic budget for four years, and your complete failure as a president. Bring a thirty-year-old law student to Harry Reid to talk about her sex life. It costs nothing to create a fake contraceptive controversy when you don’t want people talking about your economic record.

When your presidency sucks so much you’re pimping rubbers for Georgetown law students, remember, as a Democrat, there are some distractions you can’t buy. Having a Cornell University Feminist, Gender, & Sexuality major talk about her sex life with Harry Reid? Priceless. For the softball follow-up questions, there’s MediaCard.

This week’s Walkerville Weekly Reader sponsored by MediaCard. Some spin, money can’t buy.

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