The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, September 18, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Bush to send chocolates, alcohol to Iran

The White House offers to send chocolate and alcohol to Iran—apparently unaware that wine is forbidden under Islamic law.

Foreign policy experts are criticizing the Bush administration for suggesting that they will send Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad chocolates and wine in order to avert a nuclear Iran. According to Islamic scholars, wine is forbidden to Muslims. A gift of wine would be considered an insult to the Iranian president.

The suggestion came during a question and answer session with White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan.

McClellan. Go ahead, Martha.

Q. If standard diplomacy doesn’t work, is the floral option still on the table? Has the administration considered sending President Ahmadinejad flowers?

McClellan. The President has always said we don’t take options off the table. He’s made that very clear.

Q. What about chocolates, or a bottle of nice wine? Have these options been taken off the table?

McClellan. I’d like to send them the bottle you’ve been drinking, Sara. I addressed that question in response to Martha. And I think the President has always made clear what his views are. Today we’re focused on diplomacy. We’re focusing on developing a common strategy to address this common objective. In Iran, the free world shares a common goal: For the sake of peace, the Iranian regime must not develop nuclear weapons. In safeguarding the security of free nations, no option can be taken permanently off the table.

Right-wing bloggers attempted to defend the President’s new chocolates and wine policy by saying that you don’t ever take any option off of the table. However, most commentators criticized the President for his cultural insensitivity. “Clearly,” said one Middle East expert, “chocolates are not an appropriate response when diplomacy remains available. Flowers and wine will only escalate the current crisis.”

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