The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, October 16, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

California bans multiple pregnancies

Democrats pass bills requiring 30-day waiting period for abortions and a license to walk in public while pregnant.

Marching for uterus control

Women march in San Diego Saturday demanding that California pass “gun control” for uteruses.

In response to intense lobbying by feminists, California has passed new laws that use California’s gun control as a model for women’s reproductive rights.

The laws follow protests by women marching in favor of uterus control, such as Blanche Ivory in San Diego. “I wish my uterus shot bullets,” Ivory’s hand-made sign read, “so that the government would treat it like a firearm.”

The new laws require a 30-day waiting period for abortions, a license to walk in public while pregnant, and a ban on bearing more than one child per pregnancy.

Governor Jerry Brown noted, while signing the bill, that while the bill does allow women to walk in public while pregnant if they have a license, “only Hollywood movie stars and the occasional heavy Democratic donor will be able to acquire the license.”

Women will be barred completely from bearing twins, triplets, quadruplets, and other multiple births. Further, according to former United States Senator Dianne Feinstein who crafted similar legislation in the U.S. Congress, women who become pregnant more than once per year will be deemed in possession of “an assault uterus” and be heavily regulated. “Assault uteruses that are decorated with metal near their opening, that protrude conspicuously beneath the action of the uterus, or that are encased in black or dark skin will be castrated.”

A Planned Parenthood press release hailed the new legislation. “This is the culmination of Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger’s vision for the future of women and minorities,” said Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards.

Similar laws were expected soon in other states as women march across the country protesting treating uteruses more leniently than firearms.

Democrats in the California legislature also passed legislation forbidding minors from engaging in sexual acts without an adult present. Former President Bill Clinton announced that he will move from New York City to California to help enforce the new law as soon as Governor Brown signs it.

  1. <- Clinton Russian threat
  2. Rape culture controversy ->