The Walkerville Weekly Reader

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Walkerville, VA
Monday, September 18, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Media Matters fellow: Benghazi investigation caused by gradeschool taunts

After mocking conservatives concerned about U.S. deaths in Benghazi, Media Matters fellow claims “anyone who thinks the White House deserves questioning over their handling of the Benghazi attack was obviously pantsed by liberals as a child.”

Terrorists celebrate torching Ambassador’s car

American embassy workers deserved pantsing from Al Qaeda, says Media Matters fellow Oliver Willis.

Media Matters for America fellow Oliver Willis said yesterday that the investigation into the deaths of four American embassy personnel in Benghazi is entirely inappropriate. Willis wrote that the questioners “never got over being pantsed on the playground by some liberal.”

According to Willis, asking why a Democratic President would refuse to assist an American ambassador under attack and the former Navy SEALs protecting him is like asking “Why is there air?”

“It’s like asking, why do Democrats love cop-killers?” said Willis. “They just do.”

The President initially claimed that the deaths were caused by a terrorist movie director. The Congressional Committee on Oversight and Government Reform is questioning those claims.

“Why should the media and congress spend this much effort on a pantsing that perhaps went awry,” wrote Willis. “What difference does it make?”

Willis suggested a more appropriate line of questions for the White House than what right-wingers in congress have been asking. “Which after shave do you use? is a good question,” he said. “Also, what is the weather like in DC? Do you have any hair care tips for the public? Can the First Lady recommend any good cookie recipes, and can you talk more about the First Lady’s lovely blouse?”

“Media Matters would approve of these questions,” said Willis. “These are the questions that a properly subservient media asks of its leaders.”

The Media Matters fellow added that the job of the media evolves over time. Traditionally, the media’s job has been to, in the words of the great media pioneer Peter Dooley, “comfort the afflicted, and afflict the powerful.” But today, said Willis, the media’s job has matured into “comfort the powerful, and pants the afflicted.”

“I’ve suggested we change our name from Media Matters for America to Media Pantsers for the Afflicted to reflect our new role,” added Willis.

  1. <- Religious refuseniks
  2. Abstinent Brady Campaign ->