The Walkerville Weekly Reader

Questions/Answers: About this wonderful newspaper. We have a long history in the shadow of the Shenandoahs.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, October 16, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Rule 1 made easier: shameless blogwhoring

We’ve made Rule 1 easier. If you or your blog knows how to make a trackback, you can add a trackback from our article to your blathering when you discuss a Reader article.

The Walkerville Weekly Reader is proud to announce support for the latest in Internet technologies, the “trackback”. Using the “trackback”, bloggers or other newsmen can quote from a Reader article, link to the Reader for attribution, and then “ping” our “server” to let us know about it. Our “server”, suitably gratified from a good “pinging”, will then link back to the mention.

That’s right. Unlike other members of the mainstream media, whom decorum prohibits naming, we enjoy it when the little people talk about us. These bloggers in their basements are quaint creatures, like Smurfs, and their rituals should be encouraged.

It’s like letters to the editor, without us having to hire a letter opener. Letters are dangerous things, even from the wise to the wise, and all paper-cuts may go ill.

There are of course requirements. There are layers upon layers of fact-checking, because we are a mainstream media source. And, you must provide a URL, because that is required and we are all about following the law. But being good newspapermen, we also create our own invisible laws, and one of those is that you must also say who you are. Either blog_name or title must be provided. There may be other laws, which we shall make up and retroactively enforce against conservatives, tea-partiers, and racists.1

The URL for trackbacks to an article is in the footer of the article.2

Facts are facts. We no longer enjoy it when the little people talk to us.

They’re so little.

And they talk incessantly of payday loans, electronic cigarettes, and Dallas Democrats. We have no intention of borrowing money from anyone who expects repayment, electronic cigarettes don’t weed out our interns fast enough, and as for Dallas Democrats, well, you know what they say about Dallas Democrats.

This newfangled “trackback technology” has been turned off by order of the management.

  1. But we repeat ourselves. Those people are always racist.

  2. Yes, that does mean you have to read to the end. Have at least one layer of fact-checking, please.

  1. <- RSS Feed
  2. Are these stories true? ->