Uh, is this a satire?
Bruce Springsteen arrested? Nancy Pelosi not liberal? Daytime driving illegal? Marijuana relegalized? Rosie O’Donnell joins NRA? Police officers refocusing crime-fighting efforts towards fighting crime? Is this for real?
We at the Reader pride ourselves on our journalistic boldness, our willingness to do our readers the courtesy of going that extra step, to shine light upon the truths that others do not see. Everything in the Reader is as trustworthy as articles you might read in the New York Times, the New Republic, or an Oscar-winning documentary.
Some of the stories broken here include John Walters ending prohibition, Attorney General Ashcroft promising respect for minority rights, and Hillary Clinton resigning as first lady. Yes, we were laughed at, but history has... well, never mind. Where what you read here extends the boundaries of reality, it is at least what our reporters wish were true. In the end, this is all that professional journalism can aspire towards.