The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, July 8, 2024
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Federal judge opens season on AIDS patients

AIDS patient dies from lack of medical marijuana. Judge King says “that was the whole point all along” and issues warning to all government critics.

Announcing a new “get tough” plan to combat medical marijuana patients, Judge George H. King said that “we have successfully strangled in their own vomit those who would use Proposition 215 to evade sanctions for their use of marijuana under a doctor’s orders.” According to King, outspoken prohibition opponent Peter McWilliams died on Wednesday after “a long and tortuous” battle with the AIDS virus. “We knew it was going to kill him when we took his medicine away,” said King. “He was an outspoken critic of government policies, and he deserved to die. We made sure it was painful.” King expressed surprise that McWilliams survived as long as he did.

According to King, the idea arose from a 1997 San Francisco case in which epileptic Alan Martinez died after being arrested and arraigned for smoking marijuana under his physician’s advice. “Martinez had kept his epilepsy under control for ten years,” said King, “but chief deputy district attorney Kathleen DeLoe saw that as an opportunity.” They forced Martinez off of his medication. On July third of that year, his car swerved off the Bodega Highway. He died in the car accident. “We don’t know that an epileptic seizure caused his death,” said DeLoe. “But that’s what we wanted, so it all worked out in the end.”

King said he hopes to expand the program beyond a few isolated cases. “All over California, seriously ill patients are evading natural death through smoking this killer weed. Each one of them is a potential critic of the drug war. By denying them their medication, their voices are silenced.”

If the program succeeds in California, King hopes to take it nationwide. “Throughout the country, innocent voters are being duped into passing laws that allow ill patients to use marijuana if their doctors recommend it,” said King. “With the assistance of prosecutors and federal agents, we can easily remove all resistance to the drug war.” King says that the weakness of these criminals--their medical need for marijuana to survive--is an Achilles heel that can be exploited by law enforcement.

“If we work together,” says King, “we can kill any seriously ill patient who relies on marijuana prescriptions.”

King says that once drug law opponents are silenced, he hopes to expand the program beyond drug laws, and use it to combat any outspoken opponents of government policy. “These people are traitors, who have no place in our society,” he stated.

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