“Anyone who would violate the bill of rights is corrupt,” said Senator John McCain (R-Az) in a public confession in which he stated that his career has been spent trying to “get around” or “completely ignore” the bill of rights.

“We called free speech ‘soft money’,” said McCain, “and then we banned free speech. We called self-defense ‘assault’, and then we banned that too.”

According to McCain, people are dying all over Washington, DC, because of his corruption. “I’ve tried to change,” said McCain, “and ever since I realized that gun control is bad, I’ve start voting against gun control.”

An anonymous democrat claimed that McCain “only realized that gun control was bad the same time the rest of us did--when gun control lost at the polls.”

McCain also faulted his long-time stand against AIDS and cancer victims and patients going blind. “My inability to let doctors prescribe medicine as they see fit has probably killed and blinded as many people as my anti-self-defense votes,” said McCain.

McCain went on to plead with the American to people for forgiveness, “before the next election.”