The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, November 20, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Democrats call for unilateral war, pre-emptive crackdowns

Amid Democrat calls for exchanging civil liberties for security and for greater crack-downs on minorities before September 11-style attacks, Republicans “confused but happy”.

According to Democrats today, the Bush administration should have pre-emptively worked to block access to airliners by “anyone who looks Muslim” well before September 11.

Some Democrats added that “full, crippling attacks against Afghanistan” should have commenced before September 11 as well.

“We don’t need a reason for war when American security is at stake,” said Democrat and Bush critic Albert Hague about the Bush administration’s refusal to initiate an Afghan war during the summer of 2001.

In response to Bush administration claims that they could not have “gone it alone” against the Taliban, and that world approval before September 11 would have been impossible, Democratic spokesperson Steven Newag said, “I cry bull on that. The United States is the only world power whose approval we needed. We should have gone to war in Afghanistan unilaterally, and in Pakistan if necessary, and anywhere else the fighting spread.”

“Whereever bin Laden went, we should have attacked,” said Newag.

“It didn’t need to be all-out war,” said Democrat Milton Rixon. “We could start out with military aid. It worked in Vietnam, it could have worked in Afghanistan. We could have had an honorable war and an honorable peace, just as in Vietnam.”

Democrats also faulted the Bush administration for not being more pro-active in airport security measures and in investigating potential terrorist threats. “We should have locked down our airports well before September 11,” said Hague. “No Muslims or anybody who looked even remotely Arabic should have been allowed on an airplaine.”

Newag agreed, adding, “and where was the FBI in all this? Why weren’t they knocking down the door of everyone named Rashid?”

Senior republican Frank J. Dykenne noted confusion about the Democratic policy shift, but said they were “happy to welcome Democrats into the fold” and hoped for new, bipartisan crackdowns on dangerous minorities, and for a “more sane balance between individual freedom and national safety.” Dykenne added that he was glad that Democrats recognized the “need for war against nations that are potential threats even if they haven’t yet become actual threats.”

Dykenne noted that in discussions with the Bush administration, “everyone thinks this is a win-win situation. Even if Bush loses in November, the Democrats have embraced our platform of unilateral war and harassment of minorities. We don’t mind losing if we win on the issues.”

Former cybersecurity advisor Richard Clarke welcomed his fellow Democrats to the right wing of the party as well. Clarke is most remembered for benefiting corporate America by exempting illegal corporate activities from Freedom of Information Act requests. Clarke also recommended funneling weapons to anti-government Afghan militias in the months before September 11, a recommendation that Democrats have recently embraced.

“We love giving weapons to militias,” said Hague, who also said that if Kerry is elected in November, militias can look forward to the U.S. government opening its weapon stores to anti-government groups in any country that harbors terrorists.

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