The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, September 18, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Springsteen arrested in New York City

Aging rock-and-roller runs afoul of hate crime laws for new song based on police racism.

New York City police arrested singer/songwriter Bruce Springsteen at his concert in Madison Square Garden yesterday. According to police, Springsteen’s new song “41 shots” is an actionable hate crime against both police and minorities. “I happen to like Springsteen,” said one officer, “But that song just opens up old wounds and incites hatred against not only police but against niggers as well.”

Fellow officer John Barleycorn agreed. “The community had almost forgotten about the incident,” said Barleycorn. “If he stirs up the unruly elements of this city, we may have to start beating on blacks again just to keep the peace. We might even have to write more reports saying we’ve changed.”

“It’s just bad for everybody,” said city prosecutor Mike Hunt. “Bad for police, bad for niggers, bad for tourists. We will be prosecuting Mr. Springsteen to the full extent the law allows.”

“And perhaps further,” added officer Barleycorn.

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