The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, March 25, 2024
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Walkerville Weekly Reader acquired by Leni Films

The Reader staff welcomes their new Entertainment overlords.

Reader staff trained by Leni Films CEO: The editorial staff of the Walkerville Weekly Reader training under the watchful eye of Leni Films official.; Germany; National Socialism; Nazis

Steamboat Entertainment Company improves editorial oversight of Walkerville Reader news analysis.

The popular and award-winning Walkerville Weekly Reader newspaper has been acquired by the Leni Films movie studio and waterworks, a subsidiary of the Steamboat Entertainment Company media conglomerate. The sock-and-cash agreement valued at $19 thousand sent shockwaves through the media. It is the second-smallest media merger in U.S. history, behind the $21 thousand buyout of the yacht “Marie Antoinette” by the New York Times Company in 2008. The acquisition was finalized on January 10, 2011 and the transition completed on January 28, 2011.

The most obvious result of the acquisition was an update of the Walkerville Reader web site. Walkerville Reader editor-in-chief Sam Lee praised the Leni Films programming staff for the new look, saying “we welcome the new white background and are very impressed that the Reader now includes multi-media. It has images and columns and everything.”

Leni Films Vice President of Public Relations Thomas Anslinger said that the local weekly will become an integral part of the Leni Films network of newspapers.

The Reader, which currently has a circulation of 892 in and around the small town of Walkerville, Virginia, claims a much higher readership on the “Internet Web”. According to chief staff writer Shaheen Hamedi, “our readership on the Web is at least double that of our paper readership, and the potential readership is unbounded by geographical restrictions.”

Anslinger said that they expect “only a few minor changes to the Reader’s winning formula of hard-hitting, unbiased news coverage and editorial analysis.”

“This will not change our independent news judgement,” confirmed Lee. “The Reader’s award-winning unbiased news coverage will remain unchanged. Of course, the rest of our news coverage will have to reflect where the money comes from.”

Lee assured Reader advertisers that their advertising policy will also remain free of corporate influence. “We will continue to accept advertisements from the full political spectrum, all the way from Moving On Soon on the left to the Democratic Party on the right. We will continue to ensure that our advertisers present a fair political environment to our readers.”

Steamboat Entertainment Company Chief Executive Roger Bond added, “We expect the Reader to soon rival the New York Times’s online acquisitions, such as their purchase of About.com.” He added that “About.com excels in drawing traffic for revenue-rich searches including weight loss, make money online, and best free antivirus. Despite their head start, we do not intend to cede these essential market segments to The New York Times.”

Hamedi added that while the New York Times is currently the number one site for crackpot articles, “the Reader is well-positioned to draw crackpot readers away from their current home at the Times.”

Steamboat Entertainment Company is the world’s largest media conglomerate. Leni Films is best known as the home of the inciteful documentaries of Marco Leihome, including Bowing to Divia and The Long Struggle for Truth. The Walkerville Weekly Reader is best known as the last home of the notorious serial-killer-killer, Carolyn Purcell.

  1. <- Airline fatalities plummet
  2. Milbank PDS relapse ->