The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, April 22, 2024
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Mark Udall announces surprising new endorsements

Embattled Colorado Senator announces two new supporters from beyond the fields we know.

Mary Jo Kopechne’s car emerges: Mary Jo Kopechne’s car pulled from Poucha Pond on Chappaquiddick Island.; murder; Ted Kennedy

And a new Democratic voter emerges from the ballot booth to protect the weak.

Colorado Senator Mark Udall announced two new endorsements this weekend at the Grand Junction debate with his Republican opponent.

“I can tell you,” said Udall, “that Steve Sotloff and James Foley contacted my assistant campaign manager Melissa Lafsky this week to announce their support.”

Sotloff and Foley are the journalists who were recently beheaded by Christian or other terrorists in the Middle East.

According to Udall, the deceased reporters have joined his foreign policy team and will advise him on how to counter religious extremism overseas.

“Their basic advice? Don’t be hasty,” said the craggy-featured Udall.

The Senator added that the dead men now support President Obama’s policy on delaying counterattacks against the terrorists, and on rescue deliberation.

Foley told me that he fully supported the month-long deliberation by President Obama before authorizing the rescue attempt.

Gone are the days when the President acts impulsively, throwing down his children’s book and rushing out with his megaphone as President Bush so rashly did and was so rightly condemned. The important thing is to remain calm, to think, and then think again, and keep thinking.

And then maybe think some more.

Udall also echoed Huffington Post reporter Melissa Lanksy’s assertion in 2009, echoed by author Joyce Carol Oates, that the dead are natural constituencies for Democratic politicians. After Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Poucha Pond) died, Lansky and Oates announced that Mary Jo Kopechne, in the great beyond, considered her death and the justice denied her a fair trade for the Lion of the Senate’s successful career.

“The dead are natural Democrats,” said Udall, “and are so loyal a constituency that they will even support the policies and politicians that killed them.”

Senator Udall argued that this was why the Affordable Care Act was such important legislation: “It creates more Democratic voters.”

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