The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, December 9, 2024
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

Secret Service says no profiles in school shootings

Anti-gun activist suggests that Secret Service action might jeopardize further gun control.

The Secret Service says that there are no profiles that can be used to identify the “typical school shooter”. According to Secret Service Director Brian Stafford, “We don’t believe in profiles. There are no psychological or demographic profiles for the adults who pose threats, and my guess is we’re going to find the same thing in children.”

Dwyer noted that “none of the shooters acted in a spontaneous, impulsive manner. There’s been plenty of time to intervene.”

Anti-gun activist Kevin Dwyer expressed doubts about the Secret Service initiative. “While we welcome any attempt to bring law enforcement into schools,” said Dwyer, “we don’t believe that only criminal children should be targeted. It is more important to get rid of the guns than to save children’s lives.” Dwyer went on to suggest a one-year waiting period on purchasing handguns for any parent of a minor.

A spokesperson for Handgun Control, Inc, agreed. “If the Secret Service is successful, and children’s lives are saved, how will we be able to ban handguns? Dead children are our best resource.” The spokesperson then praised Dwyer’s suggestion, saying “it serves two useful purposes. It reduces the number of people with handguns, and it reduces the opportunity for parents to save their children’s lives. That’s a win-win proposal.”

  1. <- Secret Tapes
  2. Mechanical Failure ->