The Walkerville Weekly Reader

National Desk: Hard-hitting journalism from your completely un-biased (pinky swear!) reporters in Walkerville, VA.

Walkerville, VA
Monday, November 13, 2017
Carolyn Purcell, Editor

President Obama violin concertos console bereaved Iraqis

President’s iPod an oasis in crisis for the stress of a historic presidency, and the Middle East.

Nero with violin

President Obama overseas U.S. foreign policy from the Truman Balcony.

In the wake of renewed Al Qaeda activity following US failure to negotiate a status of forces agreement in Iraq, the White House sent its condolences to Iraqis on Wednesday.

The United States strongly condemns the recent attacks in Iraq by the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL). We offer our condolences to the families of those killed and underscore our commitment to assist the Iraqi people as they confront the threat that ISIL poses to Iraq and the region.

The White House promised intensive diplomacy and invoked the high-profile hashtag generators at the State Department to “shame the terrorist organization into abandoning their unacceptable behavior.”

The State Department’s internationally-respected #HashTagDiplomacy culminated in U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Samantha Power’s strongly-worded tweet,

Strongly condemn attacks in Mosul by the Islamic State in Iraq and Levant (#ISIL), and its efforts to turn back clock on #Iraq’s progress.

The White House promised further Twitter barrages against the al Qaeda subsidiary as soon as the World Cup ends.

The President continued the verbal assault on the terrorist organization by attacking the growing income disparity between ISIL and other terrorist organizations.

The group has become the richest terror force in the world after looting 429 million dollars and large amounts of gold bullion from Mosul's central bank following the city's capture.

The President urged the terrorist organization to “spread the wealth around” and counseled humility, telling the group that “if you’ve conquered a city, you didn’t invade that, you had help. It was the White House that refused to negotiate a status-of-forces agreement, that abandoned Iraq. Iraq didn’t get abandoned on its own.”

Along with his condolences, the President sent the Iraqi people an iPod containing his musical instrument practice sessions. Since taking on the role of Commander in Chief, President Obama has, to relax from the stresses of the job, taken up the violin, executing his lessons daily from the White House balcony.

“We hope that this personal gift underscores our commitment to international diplomacy and peace,” said the President, while Iraq burned to the light of flames from Eastern Europe and Syria.

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